UGH!

Well, to make a long story short.... Today is March 19, 2007. I have said before that I have left it in God's hands...but, you know me and how impatient I can be!! I found out that I was pregnant on March 10, 2007 and went to the Doctor on March 12, 2007 for confirmation bloodwork. My HCG was 380, (50+ is a good pregnancy)but,I had started bleeding. I had my HCG re-tested in two (2) hours and it had fallen to 157. They said I was in the process of having a "spontaneous abortion"....how insensitive can you be!! It never gets easier. On March 13, I went to have a D and C to finalize matters. Working at Scan has increasing become difficult due to the numerous losses John and I have suffered. I see so many clients that take for granted the wonderful gift of a child. Why doesn't God give us this wonderful GIFT!! .... Sleep my angel, sleep. I will meet you and the other angels that we have lost one day and I will Cherish you all in Heaven.

Everybody Loves Elmo

Awaiting Ian or Alyssa Taylor

Lesa and John

I have been through an emotional roller coaster. I have since found out that the adoption is more than likely a scam. There are no triplets . I have accepted this . How could anyone in the world ever torture a person who would give her life to give my husband a child!. This woman knew about the losses that my husband and I have suffered. She sat and watched me cry, talking about our losses. She let me get attached to the children she has custody of. I kept asking her for an ultrasound to see our babies, but she could never produce one. I see a counselor weekly because of a breakdown I had, believing the possibility of our dream coming true...but all the time being manipulated by this woman. My counselor said, "Lesa, you are a prime candidate for someone to scam, it's obvious how badly you long for a child. What are the odds that someone gets pregnant with triplets without fertility drugs??, not likely." I just don't understand HOW anyone could take pleasure in hurting a person so badly???? This woman even called me Monday, February 5th, after not calling me for nearly 7 weeks, telling me she had all the ultrasounds, and wanted me to meet her at 3:00pm at Azars restaurant. I skeptically agreed to meet her because I had some toys and things for the girls, the siblings to the supposedly babies that were to be adopted . At 3:00, no Cynthia, ....3:15, no Cynthia... 3:30, no Cynthia.....I called her house and her sister-in-law answered the phone, I asked for Cynthia, she stated, "She left and said she was leaving the country and never coming back"...I thought she was joking, so I said, "well with a house full of girls, it's no wonder", the sister-in-law didn't laugh. I said "what time did she leave,? She said, "around noon"...I said, "I talked to her at 1:45 when she called me from that house", she then said, "oh, well she got dressed and said she was leaving the country and never coming back after she got done talking to you". I then drove by her house and her (Cynthia's) truck was there....I was crying uncontrollable, realizing that my counselor was probably correct in her in her suspicions... I went to her doorstep and dropped the toys and clothes I had for the girls and rang the doorbell and went back to my car and left... I then called her, and again, the sister-in-law answered....I simply said, "Rosie, I dropped off a couple big boxes of clothes and toys for the girls, it is on the porch. I am finished!" I hung up. I was crying so bad, I could hardly drive. Again, HOW COULD ANYONE TAKE PLEASURE IN PLAYING MIND GAMES AND HURTING US LIKE THIS LIKE THIS???? Why??? Keep us in your prayers! ~ Lesa Taylor ~

UPDATE

Well, it has been a while since I updated this blog. In late May 2006, I lost the baby at 6 weeks. I was too depressed to even think about udating the blog. We have had six miscarriages since the beginning of our journey. Let me try to catch everybody up.... In August 2006, I happened to be in the right place at the right time....I was doing the custody paperwork for a client who was obtaining custody of her latest grandchild (three months old). This client has a daughter who gets pregnant just to get pregnant and then gives her children to her Mother (the client). At the time of doing the custody paperwork in August, the client found out that her daughter was AGAIN pregnant with another child!! She (client) said she could not possibly take another child, as she already has custody of three children (born to the daughter). I, of course told her John and I would be HAPPY to adopt the child that she is 6 weeks pregnant with! I told her of our unsuccessful journey to have children. Well, in late October 2006, we were advised that she is pregannt with twins. The grandmother, client, Cynthia, whatever you want to call her, then asked if we would still be interested in adopting them and not separating them.... WELL DUH....Of course we would!! What a Blessing!! On December 4, 2006, she had an ultrasound showing that she was pregnant with two baby girls, identical twins!! John and I have already named them. Alyssa Mackenzie Taylor and Alexis Mackenna (or Nicole) Taylor !! On December 24, 2006, Courtney (the Biological Mother)fell down the steps and went to the emergency room, where they did an ultrasound to make sure the twins were okay...They found TRIPLETS. We will name the third one Addison Mckayla. They are due May 19, 2007. What a Blessing that Cynthia (client, bilogical grandmother) came into our life!! We are so cautiously excited right now. We have already went through the disappointment of a Biological Mother changing her mind at the very last minute not to give her baby up for adoption!! I guess everything happens for a reason though. If we had gotten that child in July 2006, we would not have had room for the Alyssa, Addison, and Alexis. We are going to call them Ally, Addi, and Lexi. I just pray that all goes well as planned. John and I have planned on being in the delivery room when she delivers, so we can be the first to hold the girls!! I will update periodically as I receive updates from Cynthia regarding her daughter and the pregnancy. For right now, the daughter has agreed to let John and me adopt the girls directly from her and not have to go through Cynthia and adopt from her. That would be a long process!! Anyway, I have a picture of the latest child that I did custody paperwork for, she has the same biological Father as the triplets. So this picture is a great indication of what the triplets will look like. I will post it later. So the triplets have three bilogical sisters. Ashnia, Shabbia, and Zezzia (the latest). I will post pictures of all of the siblings as well. I want the twins to have pictures of their siblings as John and I will tell them about the blessing that led to their being in our lives. I am keeping a journal to one day give to them. Anyway, I will try to post more often now. For now, please keep us in your prayers !!!

YOU WERE GROWING

Well, I just wanted to update everyone.....I took the home pregnancy test this morning at 11:37 a.m. and it was positive. I then called Dr. Bopp and he wanted me to come in right away to test the HCG and Progesterone level, I went in and my HCG level was 587. They want me to come in and take another test in 2 days to see if the level is rising like it is suppose to. I have the best Doctor in Fort Wayne who specializes in High Risk pregnancies.... I have Faith that God will cradle this baby until he lays him/her in my arms, and Forever ever after! Please keep us in your prayers. I went to the doctor 2 days later and my HCG has dropped to 319, the Doc says it's not a good sign...come back in two days to see if the level is still dropping. I went in 2 days later and my level has dropped to 187. The Doc says there is no chance of survival...I pleaded to DO SOMETHING..... PLEASE DON'T LET ME LOSE THIS BABY!! Doc says, "there is no chance, you just have to wait to have a spontaneous abortion." Well God knows I am familiar with that.... Well, 4 days later and I have officially lost the baby... Sleep my angel, sleep. I will meet you and the other angels that we have lost one day and I will Cherish you all in Heaven.

This is either Ian or Alyssa, Daddy says so!! 

Mommy and Daddy at the Cubs game, taking a break from obsessing about your arrival some day! 

YMCA

Hey there, Mommy and Daddy went to the YMCA to work out this evening. Somebody told daddy that if you work out or walk....it build up testosterone, hehe! I think at this point if someone told us that eating spinach would help get ready for you babies, well...can you say POPEYE?? Well, Daddy is drinking a slimfast and I am eating grilled chicken and veggies.....Well I am gonna go watch American Idol with Daddy. Oh yeah, Mommy took the Ovidrel shotwhen I got home! So, I am praying for Love you babies!! MOMMY

WooHoo!!!!

Well, I just talked with Jennifer, the poor Nurse at Dr. Cooper's Office. God love her!!She puts up with my daily calls! She said that everything is in order!! I have five mature follicles, and my endometrium is 8.3 , my estrodiol is 663, my lining is all cusiony waiting for you to implant baby, or as Jennifer warned me "babies"....I am so excited, you would think that you are already in my tummy!! But, this is the first time that everything is in order!!! Jen said that Doc Cooper said that it was up to me, whether I want to take the chance of multiples, and go ahead and take the shot of Ovidrel....go ahead!!! So, Mommy has alot of peoples praying for you babies!!! so now all I have to do is warn Daddy of the chance of both of you coming at once, and possibly bring a brother or sister along, hehe!

Repeat Ultrasound!

I went for a repeat ultrasound this morning to see if my endometrium was any thicker....IT IS, woohoo It went from a 5 to an 8.3mm... Doc said Saturday that it had to be at least 8 to conceive. They also found five good size mature follicles all around 21-24mm. The Monster size 28mm is gone..... So now, wait to get my bloodwork results to se eif my estrogen level is up there still. It was at 523 Saturday....I can call at 8:30 to get the results. I am so excited! This is the first time that everything is all in order! Now just gotta take the Ovidrel and praying for Love Mommy